The Ideal Strength Gym

Here is my concept of the ultimate, T-Rex Gym. We'll call it T-Rex Training, for the sake of argument.

At T-Rex Training, the goal is to get stronger and more fit. Simple as that. It's not a social club, it's not a dating hook-up, it's not a psychiatrist's office. We come to get strong.

It's not the cheapest membership in town, but it's still the best deal. There are no fancy carpets, the paint is peeling, the television (yes, just one in the whole place) is turned to FoxNews. Nothing else, unless it's fight night or there happens to be a really good football game on!

You get all that ambience for $150 a month...

But wait! There's more! (I'm like a late-night television pitchman, huh?).

You don't get to just come in and do whatever workout you feel like doing. Every-single-fucking-training session that you do is planned. Each quarter, you sit down with a coach and discuss what your fitness goals are for the quarter. Then, the coach goes and plans your program for you. Then, every single time you come into train, the coach is there, coaching you. Granted, you're not alone. There'll be three or four other guys being coached at the same time, all of whom are on the same basic plan as you are.

So, if you're on a four-a-week program, you're getting each training session for less than $10.00 each! If you're on a three-a-week program, you're getting it for just slightly more...

Considering that a Globo-Gym like 24Hour Fitness will charge you $25.00 a month (if you pay for the entire year, up front), and $75-80/hour for personal training, how can you go wrong with T-Rex Training? Oh, that's right, you won't be impressing the blonde bimbo on the treadmill with the fake ta-tas by doing dumbbell curls with the 10-pounders...

What you will get is training by a coach that knows what the fuck he is doing, instead of some 19 year-old kid that was flipping burgers at McDonald's last year, until he decided he could make more money by teaching you how to do something he learned in a one-day training certification...